Unfortunately there comes a time in every roleplayer's career that they come across some folks who just don't know how to roleplay.  Sure they have all the bases covered with a nifty character website and boast about post lengths and other such things, but they just don't have a grasp on how to actually get a roleplay started and keep it going.  So, here, I'm going to give everyone some free lessons.

Lesson 1: Introduction

This is the first post from each player.  Regardless of who starts, every player needs to put in an introduction post and fill in any gaps for each other.  If the roleplay takes place in a world or environment both players are familiar with, this should be easy for each player to put in their own spice without stepping on each others' toes.  Some factors to include (not expressly and not limited to) are;Region - Either a city or an ambiguous locale or planet.
Time of day - You can be as blunt as the exact time or take this opportunity to pad your post length and flex your muscle with some detail.
Weather/Time of Year - This is self-explainatory and is usually not completely necessary but it helps if you're doing something long-term and want to keep a chronology of things to come.
Location - Are you in a building?  A tavern?  An apartment?  Describe it.  Knowing where key items are help in certain regards.  In a more detail-oriented roleplay, pointing out entrances, windows and the rooms around you or even a little history to the place can add some much-needed flavor.

Your introductory post should also include your character's description.  Don't rely on your partner to just accept the picture you have in your profile.  Put some detail of your character's current threads and hairstyle in there.  This isn't an anime where everyone looks exactly the same all the time forever.
Lastly, wherever you're starting out, give yourself a reason to be there.  This helps to set up a lot of things; including your partner's post and possibly even the over-arcing conflict of the entire roleplay could hinge on this.

Lesson 2: The Hand-off

When you post, you always want to post enough to get the idea and the information across, but not so much that you step on your partners toes and also not so little that you leave your partner with nothing to go on.  Here are some examples of a bad hand off:

Character 'Shawn' sees character 'Stacey', but does not interact with them.  Instead, they walk the other way.
This is a bad hand-off because now Shawn's player has to find a new way of interacting with you.  If this keeps up too many times in a row, the roleplay may stall.  Similarly, Shawn may react to what Stacey just did, but not provide anything further, leaving Stacey to carry the roleplay by herself.  Another example of a bad hand-off:

Stacey leaves Shawn behind and goes out for a night of partying.  A variety of things she does are described, including breaking in to Shawn's house and stealing all of his underwear.  She comes back to Shawn's location six hours later.
This is a bad hand-off because Shawn has nothing to say about any of this without creating a Paradox.  Perhaps he had an alarm at his house, or his mother is always home.  Usually information like that isn't divulged until it's important.  After the initial post it's never a good idea to post more than what your partner can feasibly react to.  This is especially important if the characters are having a conversation.  If you talk their ear off and perform a few actions in between, they have no opportunity to react and now they have to carefully work their post around yours so a Paradox isn't created; sometimes to the point of completely breaking character to do so.  If you post a one-liner because you asked a question and in the process didn't move, change location or do anything required to update the environment...then you post a one-liner!  There's no shame in it if you're giving a proper hand-off.

Bottom Line:  Always stop posting when something you do will affect the other character and keep posting until you do something that does.

Lesson 3: Types of Roleplayers

There are three distinct types of role players.  They are:

The Alpha:  Alpha's have websites like mine; full of characters, information, tidbits, characters with backgrounds and whole worlds that surround that character.  Their characters exist in a reality that is "fact" for them.  If you're playing a Werewolf, then Werewolves are "Fact".  If you detail how those Werewolves are created, the societies they've built, the wars they've fought; all the way down to religion and creationism (or if you just jack it from White Wolf Publishing. *Smirk*) all of that information is Fact for that character.  Playing with that character in any capacity creates an expectation that you accept that reality as fact, too.
**Alphas cannot play with each other.  At least not with their most detailed characters.  Two existential facts of reality cannot be combined together.  Neither person will budge enough to make both happy because adding or eliminating facts drastically alters their character's dynamic.  Imagine Doctor Who if Torchwood didn't exist or Clint Eastwood without Colt or James Bond without MI6.  Certainly these things can be replaced with something else, right?  Sure, they can, if they're replaced by you.  MI6 is a Fact for James Bond and he knows everything about it; it's history, it's employees, where Q-Branch is located..  But if another role player comes in and says; "Well, my character leads an Organization called Dickswallowers and they're the defacto spy agency in the UK." that smashes Mr Bond's reality with a brick.  He can't bring in any detail without interrupting the RP to ask the other intimate questions about this place and anything he could take for granted is now cutting in to his post length.

The Beta:  Beta's have a profile or maybe a website containing a handful of characters with basic backgrounds.  These usually range from "Works at this place" or "Attends school" or "is God of Everything".  Their characters can fit mostly any kind of circumstance and can adapt to just about any situation or their partner's homegrown universe.  Betas usually don't carry the post length and detail that Alpha's do but are by and far the most preferred partner to have.  Beta's get along with each other quite well.  They're flexible, typically open-minded and just an all around joy.

The Omega: The Omega is the new guy on the block.  He may or may not have a character pre-made and probably doesn't have a website or a profile.  Most Omega's are typically looking for smut-based role play and really have little to offer the creative whimsy of the Betas are avoided like the plague by the Alphas.  Omegas eventually become Betas once they've had enough experience under their belt, know what they like and will start to actively advertise it properly; even going so far as to mix in some generic fluff in order to honey-trap the Betas.  Omegas do not like playing with each other, even though they really should be.  They actively try to attract the Alphas and the Betas because they mistakenly believe they deserve to be on equal ground with them.  Some Omegas can be very good role players, but are easily one-track-minded and are a good source if you're just looking for something straight-forward and simple without any complications; especially if you're smut-surfing.

Lesson 4: Character Selection

Choosing what character to play can be a daunting task, but I'm here to make it easy.  Use the above rankings as a guide and label your characters from Alpha to Beta to Omega.  Alphas being the most fleshed out, Betas being more flexible and the Omegas are just there for the fancy.  Once you've done that, follow the same concepts for role players.  Alphas for Betas, Betas for Betas, Omegas for Betas or other Omegas.  Following this formula makes character selection much easier, there's little to debate or work out and you can get started that much faster.

~    Archetypes of the Female Character:

I've noticed there are Four(4) distinct character types that I've run across.  They are:
The Princess Peach: The Princess Peach is the force that binds Ying and Yang.  Without her, the Villain will have no purpose and the Hero will have no conviction.  With the absence of the Princess Peach there will be nothing to cheque the villain as most people in a society simply won't give a shit; dark clouds and roving hordes of monsters be damned.  In a light-hearted atmosphere The Princess Peach will remain a host of the Villain until such a time the Hero can make his stand...unless, of course, she's being held in another castle.  In reality; The Princess Peach will be mercilessly raped by the Psychotic Physician and his dog and kept barely alive while she is dismembered bit-by-bit, her organs harvested as trophies and what remains dumped on the playground of a nearby orphanage.  You're the Rich Girl, the Snotty Daughter, the Loud-Mouthed Brat.

The Kim Bauer: Like the Princess Peach you find yourself often kidnapped, but for far shorter periods of time because luckily you have a Badass Boyfriend or something that routinely gives a shit about you.  You have an almost supernatural knack for getting into all sorts of trouble.  It's almost as if the entire world has come down upon you and transformed your frumpy, useless self into a Global Punching Bag.  You have no other worth than to be the drive for the drama and after a while it gets old for everybody.  All odds are against you at all times.  Fires break out in buildings you reside in.  Polar Bears attack you in Texas, in July, in a populated town of high-strung, card-carrying members of the NRA.  Everyone wants to rape, beat, torture, rob, attack, assault, maim, tease and sucker-punch you until the end of time.  No matter how many times you relive these experiences, you learn nothing from them, have no interest in your own survival, blindly stupid to everything happening around you and you lack any evidence of common sense.  You are a useless fuck-piece for the protagonist and probably deserve most of the torment you receive.  You're the Everywoman, Common Housewife, Working Girl, Girl-Next-Door.

The Michelle Rodriguez: Unlike the Bauer or the Peach you are the embodiment of self-sufficiency in a woman.  You can take care of yourself, you don't need a man to identify or objectify you and you certainly don't need anything to prove your existence.  That happens almost by accident.  You're a quick thinker, you get shit done, you outlive most of your male counterparts and just about anything short of a Bitch-Seeking-Missile can stop you in your tracks.  However, you're not without your flaws.  You enjoy a good, strong liquor; you like to hang out with 'The Guys' and you take home the biggest cock you can find because, damnit, this hardcore fucking you're about to partake is gonna get you off, too.  Sometimes you have a tendency to bite off more than you can chew and need a little bailing out, but you can easily hold your own and work well with a competent team.  You're the Soldier, the Police Officer, the Spy.

The Elektra: Aah.  The Elektra.  You don't take anyone's shit and, on the off chance you do, it's only ammunition for your Chekov's Gun when you don the cape and swoop in later to beat the ever-loving fuck out of someone.  You have skills the Manly-Man could only dream of.  You don't get caught in corners, you put others in the corner and smash their faces into solid concrete then compliment how their blood keeps your fingers warm.  Nobody in their right mind fucks with you.  Sure, you've got a killer body.  Sure, you flirt like a whore.  Sure, you carry a concealed weapon nestled against your neatly-trimmed vajay.  You don't have sex; you knock your prey out and let them wonder what's so fuckin' sticky on their thighs a few hours after you've had your way.  You often take matters into your own hands, look down on the Princess Peach and the Kim Bauer; you may even resent men for not being women.  However, this doesn't stop you from being nice to the younger boys putting you dangerously close to the Pedophile mark.  But that doesn't bother you because you know for every teenage boy you set on the right path to respecting women, you're making the world just that much better.  You're the Super Spy, the Assassin, the Supernatural Creature.

~    Archetypes of the Male Character:

To Be Continued!

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